Mushboombastic.

Here's how it was explained to me: "Pine tree mushrooms are $400 for one kilogram, so we are having a secret lunch. Please don't tell anyone."

Well, lunch turned out to be pine tree mushrooms and river snail soup. Yep, there were hundreds of those little bastards floating in that soup. It wasn't particularly good.

But the mushrooms... were like an orgasm in my mouth. And I don't mean like, someone else's orgasm taking place in my mouth, which would connote a negative taste. I mean if my mouth were also my genitalia and was capable of an orgasm localized to that area of my body, that's kind of how these mushrooms tasted: like my mouth was ejaculating.

Apparently these are the most expensive mushrooms... drum roll please... cue lightning... IN THE WORLD! *maniacal laughter* These delicacies of Asia, most popular in Japan, can sell for over $2000 per kilogram in the early season when their quality is highest grade, and I was tossing them down my gullet like swedish fish. Normally small talk might get in the way of devouring these fungal nuggets of gold, but hey! Sorry! Don't speak Korean! Now run along and leave me with my precious.