Is It Bad To Fall In Love With Your Cousin On Her Wedding Day?
Ha! I bet that got your attention! Alas, it is only a half-joke. I'm sitting here 7 hours after arriving in Taiwan more or less convinced that my cousin is the coolest person ever. And this comes as quite a shock to someone who was, in retrospect, severely pessimistic about this trip. The language barrier, the awkwardness, the frantic preparation and perfectionism that complement the waning hours before matrimony, it all sounded like another layer of stress (albeit a welcome change of stress) to deal with.
But I basically spent the whole day eating and shopping with two of my Aunts and the cousin herself that's getting married. First off, you'd think that she'd have something better to do two nights before her wedding than to take her baby cousin who she hasn't seen in 13 years on a ridiculous shopping spree. And yes, it was a spree because she decided to drop hundreds of dollars on me in the course of a few hours. Today's haul: fancy new designer bag, two-piece suit, two pairs of jeans. My guilt and my glee are Greco-Roman wrestling as we speak.
My cousin is vibrant and talkative, the farthest thing from shy that you could imagine. She is also beautiful and very touchy-feely, which results in a warm and casual feeling to be around her and also the awkwardness of being dragged around by a very cute girl store to store where she will remain hugging you while translating to the clerk what you're looking for. Inevitably a question will come up such as "Does your boyfriend need a different size?" to which a twitter before "He's actually my younger cousin," will be the response.
She's 28 years old, but if you saw her you might not guess more than 22, and has been dating her boyfriend for 14 years; since Junior High. I'm writing this from the computer in her room, the same room I was in 13 years ago jumping on the bed, doing jigsaw puzzles. I still remember the Garfield figurines on her shelf and I still don't know why each of them is meticulously wrapped in a small ziploc bag. What must it be like to have that kind of constancy? To have lived in the same city, to have had your extended family by your side at every milestone, to have met the love of your life at 14?
I tended to think of myself as the one that got away from this place. My mother beat the next member of her family to emigrate from Taiwan by a solid 20 years. I went to my prestigious New England boarding school and my selective liberal arts college and became an emotionally independent person, presumably on my way to financial independence as well. But I find myself envying her life and the ease with which these transitions that we of the individualistic mindset would find so drastic are made. I asked her if she felt nervous or excited about the wedding, and she laughed as she replied in English, "No feeling. I don't know why. Everything is okay!"
On November 25th, she will both get married and move out of the house she has lived in for her entire life. She will move down the street from the rest of our relatives and her husband's relatives and her life will continue in much the same way that it has up until now. In a way, it sounds a little sad. But in another sense, it is symbolic of her identity as part of something much larger than the decisions she makes at a given time. It surprised me to realize that change isn't frightening when your entire life has been constant. The consistency gives you the strength and confidence to forge ahead. The foundation is ironclad, and this weekend will be the celebration, not of a departure, but of a journey to make that foundation even stronger for herself and for everyone in her family, old and new, present and future.
But I basically spent the whole day eating and shopping with two of my Aunts and the cousin herself that's getting married. First off, you'd think that she'd have something better to do two nights before her wedding than to take her baby cousin who she hasn't seen in 13 years on a ridiculous shopping spree. And yes, it was a spree because she decided to drop hundreds of dollars on me in the course of a few hours. Today's haul: fancy new designer bag, two-piece suit, two pairs of jeans. My guilt and my glee are Greco-Roman wrestling as we speak.
My cousin is vibrant and talkative, the farthest thing from shy that you could imagine. She is also beautiful and very touchy-feely, which results in a warm and casual feeling to be around her and also the awkwardness of being dragged around by a very cute girl store to store where she will remain hugging you while translating to the clerk what you're looking for. Inevitably a question will come up such as "Does your boyfriend need a different size?" to which a twitter before "He's actually my younger cousin," will be the response.
She's 28 years old, but if you saw her you might not guess more than 22, and has been dating her boyfriend for 14 years; since Junior High. I'm writing this from the computer in her room, the same room I was in 13 years ago jumping on the bed, doing jigsaw puzzles. I still remember the Garfield figurines on her shelf and I still don't know why each of them is meticulously wrapped in a small ziploc bag. What must it be like to have that kind of constancy? To have lived in the same city, to have had your extended family by your side at every milestone, to have met the love of your life at 14?
I tended to think of myself as the one that got away from this place. My mother beat the next member of her family to emigrate from Taiwan by a solid 20 years. I went to my prestigious New England boarding school and my selective liberal arts college and became an emotionally independent person, presumably on my way to financial independence as well. But I find myself envying her life and the ease with which these transitions that we of the individualistic mindset would find so drastic are made. I asked her if she felt nervous or excited about the wedding, and she laughed as she replied in English, "No feeling. I don't know why. Everything is okay!"
On November 25th, she will both get married and move out of the house she has lived in for her entire life. She will move down the street from the rest of our relatives and her husband's relatives and her life will continue in much the same way that it has up until now. In a way, it sounds a little sad. But in another sense, it is symbolic of her identity as part of something much larger than the decisions she makes at a given time. It surprised me to realize that change isn't frightening when your entire life has been constant. The consistency gives you the strength and confidence to forge ahead. The foundation is ironclad, and this weekend will be the celebration, not of a departure, but of a journey to make that foundation even stronger for herself and for everyone in her family, old and new, present and future.
posted by Uzura at 6:03 AM
1 Comments:
I wish one of my cousins would buy me a suit! Had to buy one for myself today. Anyway, nice entry. But honestly, I'm a little freaked out (and, I'll admit, jealous) of your obsession with your cousin. I don't want to come for a visit if you're gonna get all incestuous on me.
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